Monday, September 9, 2013

What - Do You Have Rocks in Your Head or Something?

Raise your hand if you've heard that before; either in statement or question form and either directed at you or someone else.

It's a phrase that's been around for a while; at least a few or more decades, doncha know.

And to answer the question:   actually - yes, I do; except only one . . .

Going back to July when I had to take a trip to the ER because of sustaining some injuries during a seizure . . . the CT scan they performed showed a a small tumor on my brain.  The specific type of this illustrious visitor is called a meningioma.

The cool thing about meningiomas is that they are slow growing and are usually benign.

Now.  The cool thing about the meningioma that has claimed my cerebral area as its residence is that it is calcified (the tumor; not my brain - let's be very clear on this, y'all  Ha!).  A calcified tumor means that it's been there a while and it's not going to grow in size.  Not growing in size is definitely good news.

The ER suggested that I visit a neurologist for further consultation.  After finally getting to the place where I was able to even consider this, I made the appointment, and then Tex and I went to it together. 

Pre-appointment, I figured the doctor would want to order an MRI.  I figured correctly.

The MRI was performed last week, and we will learn the results on October 2nd.  The reason why we need to wait so long is because my doctor is out of the office during the month of September.  However, I am choosing to go on the premise that  "no news is good news".  I'm also guessing that if something of significant impact were to show up on the MRI, that one of my doctor's colleagues would surely immediately call me.  Hence, no news is good news.

In the meantime, I'll go on with life and try not to get wrapped up into "what ifs".

Speaking of what-ifs . . . I'm not so much concerned about the tumor.  It's calcified (hence, having a rock in my head - LOL) and it's not going to grow.  It probably is also benign.


And, to seque for just a bit . . . through personal experience, I've known for some time that a seizure can affect one's short-term memory.  Specific to me, a seizure absolutely does affect my short-term memory for a day or two preceeding and following a seizure.  Boiling that down even more and providing a real example, there's a good chance that if I meet someone during that time frame, then the next time we meet, I'm probably not going to even remember that I met such a person.  It won't be a case of simply forgetting their name; it will be as if we've never met; at least for me.  My apologies to y'all in advance in case this ever happens to you; it certainly isn't intentional.  There are other examples of short-term memory loss that I've experienced, but let's stick to just one for now.
Going back to the "but" (the conjunction, not one's derriere) . . .

. . .What knocked me off my feet for a few days after my appointment with the neurologist is what I learned about long-term seizure histories.  Basically, the more seizures one has and the longer period of time that one has a seizure history, the greater the risk of pervavise comprehension and cognition loss / decline; not just short-term memory loss surrounding specific seizure events.

I was not at all prepared to hear this.

If you know me, then you probably know that I have been researching food, health and nutrition since 1987.  You also might know that the first seizure occurred about 6 months into the beginning of my endeavoring to live a healthy life and that is then when I also started slanting my research to include combating seizures without pharmeceuticals.  You probably also know how so very much I avoid anti-seizure drugs.  I arrived at this stance not only by doing research but also and most importantly through my own experience with several different anti-seizure pharms.  None of the drugs I was prescribed ever controlled the seizures; and more importantly, the side effects were horrendous, with a couple of such side affects being completely intolerable for me.

One such unacceptable side effect was that of losing my comprehension skills while on the drugs.  This was in the early 90s, and I don't know if I can ever convey to anyone how completely daunting that was for me.

So.  The drugs were not controlling the seizures and the side effects were appalling.  That's when I decided that anti-seizure drugs were not for me.

And if you know me, you probably also know that I'm anti-pharmeceutical pretty-much clear across the board (not just regarding seizure drugs) . . . I don't even take OTC pain relievers, nor do I even use "seemingly innocent" products that have drug warnings on their labels.  I'm certainly not proclaiming that everyone follow suit; but for me, I'm just not into taking drugs of any kind.

But . . . I suddenly found myself between a rock and a hard place a couple of weeks ago, while sitting in the doctor's office.  Taking anti-seizure drugs can affect one's ability to think and comprehend.  However, long-term seizure histories can do the very same thing.  Twenty-six years seems a bit long-term to me, and I won't even try to guess how many seizures I've had during that time (I didn't start logging them until a few years ago).

But.  All is not lost.  :)  I've got a quasi plan in place and have discussed it with Tex.  He is in agreement with me on it; and that is so very wonderful.  Of course it all depends on what we learn about the MRI in a few weeks; but going on the presumption that nothing else (other than the calcified tumor) is wrong inside my grey matter, I do have a plan; one that I actually implemented about 2.5 weeks ago.

That's about all for now.  I'm sure I'll be writing more about all of this; but for now this seems like a good stopping place.

Am I nervous about this (whatever all this entails)?  Yes, I am.
BUT.  I also know that none of this came as a surprise to Our Lord, and that He already was covering all of this before I ever knew about it.  I know that to be Truth.

I don't know where this journey is going to take me, but I do know two immutable facts:  (1) God is going to be with me on this journey - every step of the way.  (2)  And, so is Tex.

What more could a girl want?

Thanks for reading; y'all be blessed!
HIS Peace & HIS Joy,


  1. Much love, SharMar...and prayers for it all to work out for your good. This is an easy prayer because we know that all thinks work for GOOD for those who are called according to His purposes! :)

  2. {{{Donna}}} - Thank you. And . . . Yes ma'am & Amen!