Friday, August 10, 2012

Keeping it Real

I'm cheating with this one . . . it's actually a "note" that I wrote and published on my Facebook account back in 2010.  Back then, I used the Note section over there as a mini-blog.

It's a busy day, here at the Tex and Sharmie show.  He's taken off work to do more bathroom remodeling, and I'm helping him (in addition to getting some things done on my own list).

But.  I also feel the need for a post, here in Swirlings.  I'm also in the somewhat-ongoing process of re-reading some of my previous writings . . . which is how I happened to come upon today's post.  It's a message which I think can never be overstated.

So, without further adieu . . .

"Keeping It Real"
(Originally written by me on Facebook; October 18, 2010)

I wonder . . . when did "keeping it real" turn into an allowance for people to spew vitriolic anger towards everyone and anyone; not only in what they say, but in what they write? Especially, in what they write.

I understand anger. It's a human emotion. If you're human, chances are very good that, at some point in your life, you have been angry. It's also quite reasonable to expect that, at some point from here forward, you will, once again, be angry.

Anger, in and of itself, is not a "bad thing." In fact, anger can often be the impetus that produces good results.

Most of the time, however, that type of anger, is not an in-the-moment, "volatile instant gratification" type of expression. Anger that produces beneficial change is normally anger that has been acknowledge, considered and then responded to after the "heat of the moment". There are always exceptions, yes; but my point is that spewing out angry rants in the written form rarely fall into this category. And rarely are they effective.

Electronic Road Rage.

I'm seeing it more and more.

I also believe that it's a sickness that is quite contagious. The consequences of such viral activity can be quite severe.

As gently as I can put this . . . things happen; sometimes very unpleasant and heart-wrenching things. I know. I've been there. More than once. Multiple times, even. I'm sure you have, as well.

Deal with the anger, certainly; for to not do so is not at all healthy. But please be careful to not let the anger envelope you; what good can come in allowing the anger to control you? I do not say this facetiously, nor without empathy. Spewing anger does not change what has happened; NOR does it strengthen you to continue on. It only enrages a person more and more until they are literally blind with anger; blind to anything else except "the" situation in their life.

I often hear people say, "You can't understand if you haven't been in my shoes." True. It's why I'm very careful to not casually use the phrase, "I understand."

Conversely, though, in reality, no one can truly understand another person's circumstances; even if there are strong similarities in the experiences of the two people. Additionally, more and more, I am finding that phrase to be used selfishly; i.e. used in the manner of, "You don't understand; so therefore, you have to tolerate every horrific tantrum I throw and if you don't like it, then you're not welcomed in my life, and I have no qualms in telling you so."

A bell cannot be unrung.

Words cannot be unread . . . even if the writer deletes them.

I'm very much for people being honest and transparent. I'm not at all into putting on facades.

Like with so many things in life, however, there's a responsibility that accompanies such "realness."

We can express our anger in ways that doesn't leave the reader feeling as if they've verbally been slammed up against a wall simply for sharing the same universe that we inhabit.

We do not have to post Every Single Thought that comes into our head.

Yes, we do need to extend grace to those who are going through difficult times and may be having trouble getting a handle on intense feelings of anger. But that doesn't give them the excuse to behave as small children throwing temper tantrums towards everyone they encounter; whether in-person or via the wonderful world of this wide, wide web called the internet.

May each of y'all truly know His Peace . . . it can cover you and carry you through even the most horrendous of situations.

Thanks for reading; y'all be blessed,

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